One area where brides and grooms may need the most guidance is with the wedding invitations wording. It is different from choosing a DJ or a Florist because it involves wedding etiquette passed down from generations to generations. However, the rules of etiquette are also slowly changing. What may have been previously considered a faux pas may now be acceptable. In the past, using the correct invitation wording etiquette would not allow you to include a deceased parent on the invitation, exclude children at the wedding, and ask guests for monetary gifts. Many brides and grooms have taken the initiative to state what they want on their wedding invitations despite old traditions. However, wording the invitation to include any of these situations can be difficult.
Including a deceased parent is the most emotional change that has become acceptable. Many brides and grooms have moved away from traditional etiquette to include a mention of a parent or parents who have passed. According to traditional wedding invitation etiquette , that parent would not be included on the wedding invitation. To include a deceased parent, one would add “the late” in front of that parent’s name. If the father has passed, you would write the mother’s name first, then write “the late…” father’s name. This is a simple and easy way to include that parent. Another acceptable option is to print a small cross after that parent’s. Including a deceased parent in your wedding invitation wording has become widely accepted and encouraged.
How to communicate to your guests that you do not want children to attend your wedding is a little more difficult and tricky. Traditionally, children have always been welcome to attend the wedding and reception. However, some brides and grooms may prefer to have an adult only wedding to maintain a certain level of formality to the event. There are a couple of indicators that you can write on your wedding invitation to hint at an adult only wedding. First, on the wedding invitation wording, where you would usually print “reception to follow”, instead you would print “adult reception to follow”. Then, on the response card of the wedding invitation, instead of “number of persons” you would print “number of adults”. These are two subtle ways to tell your guests that you are not allowing the presence of children at the wedding. Lastly, on the response card, you can add an extra verse at the bottom to say “sweet dreams to children under 13”. These are all acceptable ways of indicating that you do not want children at the wedding, on your wedding invitation.
Lastly, the most controversial note to include on your wedding invitation is to ask for a monetary gifts. Traditionally, the wedding etiquette is not to have any mention of money on your wedding invitations. It is thought to be rude to expect gifts for your wedding, and to specify what kind of gift the bride and groom would be expecting to receive. According to traditional wedding etiquette, this is still unacceptable. However, the reality is that the bride and groom may end up with gifts that they do not need. There have been a number of brides who have chosen to disregard this traditional etiquette and ask for monetary gifts on their wedding invitations. There are two ways it can be communicated on the wedding invitation. You can print “monetary gifts accepted”, or “monetary gifts appreciated” at the bottom of the wedding invitation, or you can print a separate insert with a poem to ask for monetary gifts.
When deciding on the wording for your wedding invitations, there are a lot of wedding invitation etiquette rules to consider. However, over time, wedding etiquette has slowly changed so that some wording that was previously not acceptable has now gained some acceptance. A few examples are including a deceased parent on your wedding invitation, indicating the lack of presence of children at the wedding, and asking for monetary gifts on your invitation. It is up to each individual bride and groom to decide what they would like to print on the wedding invitations and if they would like to follow traditional wedding invitation etiquette.